Percy and co Go On A Music Tour!
by Becky C
Summary: On his epic quest to seek fame, fortune and Annabeth, Percy decides to be a teen music idol for the world because everyone knows about his amazing singing talents, er, don't they? Will contain numerous crossovers later in the story. Just read it!
1. Prologue!

**Percy Jackson + co. go on a Music Tour!...**

**By Becky Creighton**

AN: If you like fluffy romance and mindless crossovers, you've come to the right place, pal!

Disclaimer: Hey! Does it _look _as if I own anything here?

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

**Prologue! The Ever Reasonable Voice of Infinite Logic**

I rose from my cabin bed feeling refreshed and enlightened somehow for no adequately explained reason, and wandered outside cabin two dreamily, as if I was searching for something important. And then I saw it; the lovely blonde-haired grey eyed girl sitting on the hill picking daisies irritably and with violent intent. It actually scared me slightly…Obviously Annabeth was getting a bit over-enthusiastic with the whole destruction-of-the-local-plant-life thing. I smiled amiably and sprinted towards her with open arms, and plunged myself down on the ground beside her, almost crashing into a puddle with the speed of a lemming on coffee.

'Ah, what a beautiful day, Annabeth Chase. The sun is shining, the birds are singing, Cerberus is trying to eat Clarisse…I don't think it could _possibly _get any-'

It was then that it was brought to my attention that Annabeth was staring at me weirdly, as if she was trying to make me realise something. I gave her the same look back.

'What?' She gestured downwards sarcastically with a nod. I looked. Oh fu-

'Spongebob Squarepants boxers, Percy? I never thought I'd see the day.'

I screamed. I screamed and I screamed and I screamed and I screamed and I screamed bloody murder all the way back to cabin two with my hands flailed all around the air in embarrassment like a prim frock-wearing domestic goddess style woman running away from a UFO in a 1960's sci-fi movie. Seriously, how the heck was I supposed to know I was only wearing boxers when I was having an enlightened and romantic moment with the lovely Annabeth Chase? Hell, you try it sometime and _then _we will see who has the last laugh…or last giggle. Last chortle. Last snort. Whatever, it was hell. I crashed back into bed and wrenched the covers over my head and sobbed like a little girl scout who didn't get any smores. Then sanity prevailed.

_You should probably get dressed, Percy, _commanded the ever reasonable voice of Infinite Logic. _Thank you! _I croaked mentally. If that is even possible…

_Damn right, _replied Logic. Now, you have to understand how surprised I was at this. Never before had Logic _replied _to someone, or even forced them to thank it. Zeus knows what Logic drank last night…

I flipped out of bed, hit my heel off the frame (hah hah, my, _Achilles heel…_no, that wasn't funny at all) and groaned, drifting in no coherent direction as I clutched at my heel in pain. And as I saw my _handsome _reflection of my face (you see, when you're embarrassed and your eyes are half-closed you could look like anything you please), I had a very deep, profitable, and _ingenious_ revelation…

'Holy Hydra, Annabeth!' I exclaimed, 'I have a brilliant idea!'

I heard rapid footsteps sprinting towards me, and it was Annabeth, who had caught wind of my declaration.

'What _is _it, Percy?' she ordered. She looked at me awkwardly again. 'You're _still_ not dressed!'

'Forget that, my darling!' I replied triumphantly, 'If my plan goes to plan, we will be so rich I can afford to run around wearing _nothing _if I please!'

Annabeth gave me a horrified stare. She had clearly been mentally disturbed.

'_What?_' she snapped. 'Are you high or something?'

'No, just very, very stupid!' I grabbed a dressing gown from a rail and thrust it on me, even though it was pink and fluffy.

'Hurry up and tell me what your big idea is, Seaweed Brain!' she demanded.

I grabbed her by the shoulders and shook her backwards and forwards, grinning like a maniac, which took her completely off guard.

'WE ARE GOING ON A MUSIC TOUR!!!' I bellowed happily.

Annabeth gave me a freaked out look, mouth open. 'Percy, what the hell-'

I pulled her towards me and _tried _to kiss her, but don'tcha know, didn't she just _have _to be in possession of an umbrella at that moment in time? She whacked me in the sides and poked me backwards, making stupid 'Shoo!' noises as I cowered in fear of the Mighty Sun Deflecting Utensil of Doom.

'Percy! What the hell were you _thinking_?' she cried, blatantly both shocked and disgusted. But, ah, I know that really she wants it…

I put my arm around her shoulder and led her out side the cabin, unaware that I was still wearing the pink fluffy dressing gown. She shifted about uncomfortably for a few seconds, but I knew for a fact the only reason she didn't hit me again is, (and I _told you so!_) because she wanted it, really. I raised my other arm towards the sun as if making some rather intelligent observation, and said confidently,

'Ah, but don't you _realise _it, Annabeth? Us two gorgeous good-looking people, trapped in this dingy hell-hole of a summer camp where we're being taught how to impale millennia old monsters on Sharp Pointy Objects and being told how we're all going to die horrible deaths when we get involved in a prophecy about the grisly destruction of Western Civilisation but yet we are _still totally unaware _of our amazing hidden singing talents? I'll wager that as soon as we take to the stage and give a world-class performance we'll have an entire _legion _of fan-girls at our disposal which we can either, a) use to bring down Kronos and kick Luke's sorry ass back to Tartarus with a whole new collection of wonderful scars, or b) exploit them and sell them our album by the skipload! And then I'll be so rich that you'll just be _begging _to go out with me!'

Annabeth gave me a blank look, arms crossed. '_What _was that last bit?' she inquired, poised to give _me _a whole new collection of wonderful scars. My smile dropped.

'Um, forget that last bit!' I squeaked. 'But the point is, we're going to be _celebrities!_'

Annabeth rolled her eyes. 'Very well then, Percy, but I swear, if this all goes horribly wrong or I end up being an idol for every damned four-year old in the Universe, I am going to _kill you_.'

I gulped. Why? Because the four-year old thing was part of my big plan…

**And so, future celebrities and teen idols Percy Jackson and Annabeth Chase prepared to make it big in the very big and nasty world of fame and fortune. Which brings forth the questions; which songs will they sing to enchant their fans with? What lengths will Percy go to make Annabeth fall in love with him? Will Thalia be at all amused by Percy's choice of music or his antics? Will Grover approve of the massive corporate and capitalist campaign being forged? And what will become of Camp Half-Blood while our stars are away to make their mark? Stay tuned, and that harpy just might not eat you!**


	2. Camper Vans and Temper Tantrums

Percy Jackson + co go on a Music Tour!...

By Becky Creighton

AN: After realising how many crossovers there are in this and the horrible treatment that Percy gives the characters, I've noticed just how evil I can be…DX Your opinion? And most of this just came off the top of my head, which is why it seems to ramble on about everything most of the time.

Disclaimer: I don't own anything here, not the Hitchhikers' Guide to the Galaxy, not Pokemon, not Eragon, not Percy Jackson, not Inkheart, not Maximum Ride, not the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles, not a High School Musical, not even myself, not my own shoes or even the ground I stand on. That's a rather scary thought…Oh, and the third song that Percy sings is to the tune of Lemar's Dance With U. I just thought it would be appropriate…

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Chapter 1: Camper Vans, Temper Tantrums, and a Whole New Exciting Adventure Thingy

So the time had come at last! Annabeth and I were about to embark on the quest of a life-time; the quest for fame and fortune! I bet not even Achilles thought of _that! _Now came the teensy-weensy matter of asking Chiron whether we could leave Camp Half-Blood…

"Over my dead body!" the centaur roared.

Oh well. It was to be expected.

"See? It's a rubbish idea Percy. We would be at so much risk of Kronos' corruption! Drop the daft plan, Seaweed Brain, and let's just stick to bringing down Kronos the way we were doing." Annabeth lectured on.

"But, my dear, I am _not_ a whining grotty little irksome child-star whose primary role in every movie they star in is to say stuff like, 'No! I'll never make it! I'm _not good enough!_ We need some of miracle!' type of person. I know _exactly _how to convince Chiron we can do this!"

Annabeth groaned. "_How_?" she asked impatiently. I grinned.

"We sing!" And then, for reasons that must surely be against the fundamental laws of the Universe, Chiron appeared, alongside Mr. D, Simon Cowell, a Gingerbread man and Basta, sitting next to a long table, all with notepads and wearing earnest and serious expressions that I wanted to throw a brick at.

"You said you wanted to sing? _Then SING._" Chiron boomed. Annabeth and I exchanged glances, suddenly smiled, and then the entire camp paled away into darkness, replaced by an anime version. I found a red baseball cap thrust on my head, my black hair was unruly and unkempt, and several red and white balls were attached to a belt that hung on my jeans and I wore a long blue and white jacket. Now which person does myself remind me of?...Oh, and Annabeth's hair was ginger, and she wore VERY short shorts. I'm going to have dreams now…But THIS was the song we found ourselves belting out:

I wanna BE

The very best!

Like no-one ever was!

Dun-dun DUN DUN!

To kill them is my real test

To annoy them is my cause!!!!

And then Annabeth joined in; hold on, I thought she hated this whole shenanigan! Ah, but I knew she wanted it all along…

We will travel

Across the USA

Searching FAR AND WIDE!

DUN-DUN DUN DUN!

To teach these Titanmon

To understand

How to commit suiciiiiiiide!!!!!

And then _both _of us started to sing _together!_ Man, I'm a genius, I am! Go on, join in. I know you want to…

TITANMON!

GOTTA KILL 'EM ALLLLLLL!

Me: I know it's my destiny!

TITANMON!

Annabeth: Ohhhhhhh, you're not my best friend

IN A WORLD WE MUST NOT DEFEND!!

TITANMON!

GOTTA KILL 'EM ALL-

Power so truuuuuuuuuuue!

Our cowardice will pull us through!

You kill me

And I'll kill you;

TIII-TANNN-MONNNN!

Gotta kill 'em all

GOTTA KILL 'EM ALLLLLL!!!!!

(weird guitar solo thingy)

Me: Gotta kill 'em all……

The anime Camp Half-Blood faded away, and both our funky outfits vanished. Not fair! I _enjoyed _being Ash Ketchum!...Wait. I take that statement back.

The solemn judges gave us very vacant and patronising looks.

"That was absolutely _awful._" Simon Cowell said bluntly, and promptly vanished.

"I agree in its entirety." Chiron added.

The Gingerbread man said nothing.

"Both of you should _die_!" Basta screamed, and drew his knife.

"Aye aye! Kill them! Entertainment in this hell-hole! At last!" Mr. D said joyfully.

The Gingerbread man said nothing.

Annabeth and I pulled faces.

"RUN!" I yelled, and grabbed her by the arm.

"COME BACK HERE!" Basta shouted, his knife super-pointy and knifish and generally sharp. Hey, can _you_ find a clever way to describe something you're running away from? It's bloody difficult.

"Where are we going?" Annabeth asked desperately.

"Somewhere where we're not going to get killed by an Inkheart character, preferably!"

Eventually we got rid of Basta by pushing him off a convenient cliff. Well, we shouldn't ask stupid questions like why. That would spoil the fun, wouldn't it? I would love to say that we had a very epic and tense and complicated and romantic escape from the raving mad knife-wielding psychopath, but the fact was that we didn't. We just pushed him off a cliff that happened to be there. End of story.

"Percy, why did we spontaneously burst into song back there?" Annabeth sobbed.

"I don't know!" I replied weakly in protest.

"It was the most embarrassing moment of my life, Percy! I just _had _to turn into Misty, but oh no, you _had_ to turn into Ash as well!" She dumped herself on the forest floor, broke down into a sulk and tears started to break the banks of her eyes, reminding me vividly of Niagara Falls. I sat down beside her, put my arm around her shoulder, and said in a sweet, soft, soothing voice,

"Don't worry, Annabeth. You weren't that bad. I'll stick with you no matter how out of tune you become..."

I leant in…

And got slapped.

"OW!" I yelped, and clutched my cheek.

"Percy, you jerk! Bugger off!" Annabeth lunged to her feet, and stormed off, creating several thunderstorms as she did so. Wait a minute, isn't that the sort of thing Thalia would do? Oh, conspiracies….

And out of the green (I didn't want to use blue. Why not use a different colour, for once? And I _am _in a forest anyway, so TOOSHAY), came a small, metal, dented, morose looking robot, which struck as the type who moans for a living.

"Is this the sort of fruitless activities you organic life-forms enjoy doing?" Marvin droned.

"Who the heck are you?" I demanded, baffled.

"Oh, don't worry about me," the robot continued glumly. "If you ignore me I suspect you will reconsider _not_ committing suicide."

"_What_?"

"What about what?" Marvin grunted. He trudged slowly through the forest mumbling his woes about absolutely everything, ignoring me completely. Times like these, when I encounter strange and confusing people, make me shake my fist at the sky and demand Zeus to give me weapons to kill them with.

"Why is life so _stupid_?!?" I groaned.

"Tell me about it." Marvin retorted. "In fact don't, I already know." The heap of depressed metal then added, "And _don't _talk to me about _life_."

He then disappeared, oh, somewhere.

"Why oh why is my life so _complicated_?" I pleaded to the world. "The one closest to my wounded heart has turned her back on me, my musical abilities are tarnished and my reputation damaged! How can I solve all my problems?"

A small, sharp knife popped into existence with a puff of smoke, which was eerily similar to Basta's.

"Is this a dagger I see before me?" I announced melodramatically.

"That's _my _line!" yelled Macbeth.

I shoved Macbeth off a conveniently placed cliff.

"HELP ME SHAAAAAAAAKESPEAAAAAAAARRRE!" He screamed on his way down. Sorry pal, but Shakespeare died a loooooong time ago.

So, alone and in a forest with a profound absence of characters from other fictional creations, I was left to ponder how to get the girl _and _get the job. Again.

"Per-r-r-r-r-r-rcy!" my friend Grover the satyr bleated in the distance. My heart lit up.

"Grover!" I called back, jumping to my feet, grinning happily, and both of us hooked our arms and did a little jig, skipping like school-girls. Believe me, if you saw us, you would notice how camp it looked, but remember, we were in a forest _with a profound absence of characters from other fictional creations. _Yes, that includes you.

"Grover, dearest friend and loyal companion! I am in somewhat of a pickle!" I explained in a ridiculous English accent.

"Continue my humble comrade, what ails thee?" Grover plonked himself on a tree stump, listening intently as I spluttered on about my predicament. All that was needed to complete the picture was a huge tub of Haagan Das ice-cream and a sad movie to make us look like women. Yes, I know, stereotyped. What's it to you anyway, you jerk?

"I know what we need." Grover said seriously.

"What?!?" I demanded excitably.

"We need a THEME TUNE!"

Both of us burst into song, complete with synthesizers and artificial intelligence!

Teenage Mutant Ninja Half-Bloods –

Teenage Mutant Ninja HALF-BLOODS –

TEENAGE MUTANT NINJA HALF-BLOODS!

Dudes in a summer camp!

HERO POWER!

We then jumped up and landed, each sporting a ridiculous pose.

"Right, what else?"

"We need a stupid looking camper van to cart our band members around in!"

"We don't _have _any band members…" I moaned in irritation.

"Then let's _find some!_" Grover replied cantankerously.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

SCREEN SPINS AROUND UNNECESSARILY ACCOMPANIED BY A STUPID JINGLE!!

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

We skipped our way towards cabin one, where the wonderful Thalia dwelt. No doubt the thunder she was able to conjure up would end up destroying things, and this is precisely why we found Thalia sitting angrily in a ring of ash and smoke where her cabin had once been. Her torn, dark clothes were proof of both her crime _and _her favourite rock bands. Wow, two practical uses for clothing in one.

"Oh, it's you, Seaweed Brain." She groaned, her head in her hands.

"What a lovely day you must be having, Thalia dearest. We would like to inquire whether you would be interesting in joining our band in a quest for fame, fortune, and French dressing."

"French dressing?" Thalia replied bemusedly.

"Oh yes." Grover said brightly.

"What _songs _will we be singing?" she asked suspiciously.

"Oh, pop." I said innocently.

"POP?" Thalia shouted.

"Well, not pop as such, rather more, er, r 'n' b…"

"R 'N' B?!?" She roared.

"Well, um…" Grover spluttered nervously, "…Yeah."

A brief and terrible silence followed.

Thalia screeched.

She picked up a boulder that happened to be lying around with tremendous strength and flung it at us.

"For the love of all things sane, cuddly, intelligent and beautiful, _RUN AWAY!_" I yelled pleadingly.

The boulder narrowly missed Grover, who threw himself onto the ground shrieking like a hungry and ugly alley cat.

PERSEUS JACKSON, Thalia bellowed in a deep and ethereal voice, YOU HAVE _INSULTED _ME! IT IS NOW MY GOAL IN LIFE TO STOP YOUR MUSIC TOUR _AND _HELP KRONOS BRING DOWN WESTERN CIVILISATION!

"Oh, shit!" Grover squeaked. I closed my eyes tighter than a mouse trap, waiting for the ultimately inevitable.

Suddenly, Eragon swooped down on a large blue dragon, picking up both Grover and I, in a beautiful dive that suggested that Infinite Logic was out to lunch.

"DAMN YOU Christopher Paolini!" Thalia roared, shaking her fist angrily at the grinning Dragon Rider.

"Um, thanks, Shur'tugal…" I thanked him awkwardly, still reeling in shock at the fact I was currently airborne on a huge massive talking dragon.

"No problem, Percy." He replied, still grinning. His grin was disturbing…or was it a smirk?

_Now, Eragon! _ Boomed Saphira.

I was then proved right when Eragon thoughtfully shoved Grover and I off Saphira, right on top of the Athena cabin for added effect.

"OOOOOOOH MYYYYYY GOOOOOODD!" I yelled insanely during my descent, Grover bleating for dear life beside me. "DAMN YOU Christopher Paolini!" I added desperately. Sometimes other people's logic _must _be taken into consideration.

We landed with a thud.

And we crashed through the ceiling.

Right

On top

Of Annabeth.

"PERCY! WHAT THE HELL! GET OFF ME!!" The girl screeched, scrabbing viciously at my face and blasting pepper spray wildly.

I found myself incapable to do so, because a huge wad of plaster from the ceiling had crumbled over my head, rendering me flattened and in possession of a headache aspirin companies can only _dream_ an individual would be capable of having.

"Fi fan't!" I gurgled, as the other members of the Athena cabin stood around from the rubble laughing their heads off at the absurd situation which had spawned out of nowhere.

Eventually she thrust me forward, much to my obvious surprise, because, y'know, I thought this was the sort of situation Annabeth would _dream _of. Y'know, involving being close to me. Because I'm dashing and romantic. Yeah. I am. Sort…of.

"Percy! Explain!" she demanded.

"Well…"

_A quick montage about Percy explaining everything that has happened suddenly plays, saving the tired and insane author much hardship and saving Percy the embarrassment of having Annabeth question his silly decisions. Why? Because. End of story._

"All right then Percy. I believe you." Annabeth answered sarcastically.

"It's all true…" I added hopefully. "Please Annabeth…forgive me. I was a jerk."

"_Now_ you realise." She muttered.

"Let me make it up to you!"

"Please _don't_, for the love of sanity!" she pleaded.

Too late.

PRANCE PRANCE PRANCE!

PRANCE PRANCE PRANCE!

Makes me wanna prance!

When I saw you girl I knew

That you were something

Out of a cookery book!

And I told my heart that

We gotta take ten looks!

I imagined both me and you

Doing-whatever-the-heck lovers do

Arguing endlessly in the park

Destroying stuff girl, after dark!

The oooh the aaaarg the oooh

The sounds of the

Words and the bees

Bringing you to your

Knees is all I wanna do!

PRANCE PRANCE PRANCE!

PRANCE PRANCE PRANCE!

Makes me wanna PRANCE!

And then suddenly, all the cast from a High School Musical all jumped into the fray and joined in with the chorus, much to my relief and convenience!

I just wanna prance with you!

I just wanna roll with you!

I just wanna be the one that

Really gets to annoy you!

I don't care and I don't mind

I will spend a whole lunchtime

This is what it takes for me to

Hold it down and make you miiiiiiine!!!!

Annabeth grimaced at me once all the High School Musical cast had ran away and been shot, hopefully. I breathed in heavily, trying to reclaim the air which had been sapped away by the horrendously high-pitched song. I smiled feebly at her.

"Well?"

"Well what?" Annabeth snapped.

"Will you join my band again?"

"No!" she snapped again.

I moaned in defeat and fell over backwards into the rubble.

"WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY???" I cried out in desperation.

"Because you're a jerk, Percy! Get out of my cabin, NOW!" She pointed an aggressive finger to the door, which, amazingly, was still upright even though the rest of the building had fallen to pieces.

"Ok then…" I said, hurt. I pulled open the solitary door, walked through it sadly, and just as I left, it fell over forwards, right on top of me.

"Uuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuh…." I moaned mournfully, after hearing the heartless sniggers some members of the Athena cabin made.

I struggled to my feet, and then wandered slowly and uneventfully back to my own cabin. If there were tumbleweeds to accompany me, it would've made the perfect 'total loser' scene ever. And then, proving that there is such a thing as Absolute Irony, some tumbleweeds materialised beside me.

"Now I know what it feels like to be Marvin…" I mumbled. I looked up at the sky disdainfully, looking for something to kill, or skewer, or shoot or whatever, and sure enough, I found something.

"Hey, I've never been here before!" announced Maximum Ride.

"Where the hell are we?" the Gasman asked suddenly.

"Good point…" muttered Fang dolefully.

"There could be Erasers about here, guys…" Iggy said nervously.

"Erasers!..." Angel squeaked.

"Oh, god, Erasers!" Nudge shouted.

"There are no Erasers here, my flying friends, just me, Percy Jackson!" I yelled up at the winged kids, shotgun poised to blow some feathers apart.

"OH CRAP!" Maximum Ride screeched, and she dived up, bringing her screaming flock with her. I fired some shots, laughing hysterically, watching with pleasure the sight of the winged guys split up and soar about the place, going mad. Grover bounced up to me mid-massacre and bellowed infuriatingly,

"Per-r-r-r-r-r-r-r-r-cy! How can you be so _heartless_?"

"Hey, G-man, I've just been rejected. I can get away with it."

"I_ see!_" he replied, agreeing with me. Once all the Maximum Ride characters had dispersed, my rage had been vented, and my shotgun had been stowed away, there was still the simple matter of getting that van to cart the band members around in…

"Oh yes, we _still _don't have any members of our band." I noted.

"Good point." Grover observed. "Now what?"

"Uh…we travel about, singing stuff, and hope that we collect more party members?"

"You mean, like in an RPG?"

"Exactly. That means that not only will we have accomplished singers, but we'll have accomplished mages, warriors, thieves, warlocks, alchemists and rogues in our band. Effective _or what_?" I announced.

"Hell yeah! Completely exaggerated and pointless high five!" Grover yelled excitably, promptly missing the high-five and instead whacking me on the head.

"Ooops." He said softly, desperate to avoid my wrath, which came anyway.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

SCREEN SPINS AROUND UNNECESSARILY ACCOMPANIED BY A STUPID JINGLE! AGAIN! MONTAGE OF PERCY AND GROVER PAINTING A RUSTY OLD DECREPIT VAN PLAYS, SHOWING ALL THEIR STUPID AND HILARIOUS (NOT) ANTICS AND METHODS OF PAINTING THINGS! HELL YEAH! COMPLELETY UNNECESSARY CAPITALIZED FONT!

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

"…Finished!" I declared triumphantly, and stood up proudly to admire my not-very-lovely-but-still-nice-anyway handiwork, fingers plastered in red, blue, orange, teal, neon pink and black paint, the name of our band, '_The Half-Bloods_' displayed in huge blotchy letters.

It was only a matter of time before it dawned on me that it was absolutely appalling.

"It looks absolutely appalling." Grover relayed to me.

"I figured."

Well, it was a start, I suppose.

The start of a Whole New Exciting Adventure Thingy, that is.

**And so, a Whole New Exciting Adventure Thingy began for our two heroes, Grover Underwood and Percy Jackson. But the _new _questions are, will Grover discover Percy's true intentions for this Music Tour? Will Chiron even let them continue? Will Annabeth take Percy back? And which other characters from different fictional creations will Percy terrorize/be terrorized by next time? Stay tuned, on the third speed spin cycle with the soft setting!**

**(NOTE: PLEASE DO NOT TUMBLE DRY YOUR COMPUTER)**


	3. Mysterious Crap! Yummy!

Percy Jackson + co. Go On A Music Tour!

By Becky Creighton

AN: I'm so sorry I've taken this long to write this chapter! I had to sort out the actual storyline before I continued, because I sort of realised there wasn't one…but I hope you enjoy it! The song is to the tune of 'I Love It When You Call,' by The Feeling. In my opinion, this chapter isn't the best thing I've ever wrote, as I haven't done any work on this story for a while. But no matter; we have Perciliscious matters to attend to!

Disclaimer: I own: nothing, nothing, and more buckets of nothing.

Chapter 3: Mysterious Crap! Yummy!

Darkness.

Then someone flicks a switch.

A single chair stands on a barren stage; a soulless spotlight beams down on it from the ceiling, picking it out from the dark void.

Someone coughs.

If you are currently present there, you would be hearing every creak of the ancient floorboards and staircase as a figure advances up them, with something strapped around his neck. In his hand, an electric guitar cased in metallic sea-green paint. You would've also noticed that the person is wobbling like jelly.

He approaches, and coughs again.

For reasons that must surely be against logic, a microphone had materialised on the stage. The person takes it in his hand, and stammers out the following:

"U-uh, this is for…a certain someone. I know I did something wrong, and I know I'm a jerk and a terrible friend, but let me make it up to you with this song, kay, baby?"

If you listen closer, you might hear the faint sound of a boulder crashing on top of someone's dignity.

"A-Alright…I'll begin…"

He takes a deep breath.

And the plinky-plonky sounds of a techno keyboard dance into the silence…..

And

BOOM!

In a flash of dazzling light and colour

There stands I,

Perseus Jackson, proud guitarist,

And Grover Underwood, keyboarder extraordinaire!

"I found Kronos,

You found true love,

And then OH NOES,

He's not enough!

Luke is a dork,

You should've known,

Oh plastic fork,

Disaster prone!

Oh,

Ah, ah ah ah-ha-ha-ie,

I'm just making up these lyrics as

I just follow with this song

Oh,

Ah, ah ah ah-ha-ha-ie,

I wonder if you ever get

To see what's going wrong?

It would take so awfully looooong-ee-long,

Oh

It would take so awfully looooong-ee-long;

I love it when you care,

I love it when you care,

I love it when you care,

But your care is never there,

You keep back devast-ayshun

But never my anticip-ayshuuuuun,

I love it when you care

But your care is never there,

Wo-ow!

Grover: _He loves it when you care,_

_He loves it when you care-air-air! _

_Woooo-ow!_

Me: Remember me?

I used to be

Your best time

Half-Blood

Who you couldn't wait to see ,

We're far too bold,

Quests take their toll

With Kronos

Gettin' busy

And ol' Lukey

Gettin' old!

Oh,

Ah, ah ah ah-ha-ha-ie,

Is it just me or is this songfic

Really gettin' bloody long?

Oh,

Ah, ah ah ah-ha-ha-ie,

I wonder if you ever get

To see what's going wrong?

Honey, let's just get it onnnnnnnnnn-ee-on;

Oh

Honey, let's just get it onnnnnnnnnn-ee-on;

I love it when you care,

I love it when you care,

I love it when you care,

But your care is never there,

You keep back devast-ehshun

But never my anticip-ehshuuuuun,

I love it when you care

But your care is never there,

Wo-ow!

Grover: _He loves it when you care,_

_He loves it when you care-air-air _

_Ah –_

And then there was a power cut.

Life does these things to me from time to time. It sucks ass.

"What the?!?!?!" I cry, listening to a dying chord on my guitar.

Darkness. Again.

"This isn't Metallica!" someone shouts irately from the other side of the room.

Who the –

"You aren't Annabeth!"

"Annabeth?!?" the person replies indignantly. "Of course I'm not freaking Annabeth! I'm Clarisse, you dummy!"

The daughter of Ares steps out of the shadows, as the lights come flickering back to life. I didn't even need to have eyes or imagination to know the sort of dirty look that would be on Clarisse's face.

My mind is on something else.

The impact of her betrayal pierces my heart!

The melancholy alone is mine! Alas! Alack!

"What?!? NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!" I wail, and get down on my knees. "She said she would be here! She said so! She saaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaid……!"

"And you're not Metallica either, Jackson! Freakin' hell, this is the last time I buy concert tickets from the Stoll brothers!"

"They used my romantic plight for commercial purposes?" I sob.

Clarisse rolls her eyes. "Well, DUH! The Hermes' kids are opportunists, dumb ass! Besides, camp life gets boring after a while! We need someone's dignity to explodiate!"

"Explodiate isn't a word!"

"That's not the point!" Clarisse's piggy face turns red with rage. "The point is, I captured all that footage on my camcorder and this is going on Youtube the second summer ends! HAH!"

My pride and esteem goes flatter than a week old Coke.

"Why, Zeus, WHY?"

Clarisse has already ran for the hills, with the all important footage of my dignity's last stand, which is like the Battle of Little Bighorn Mark II.

Which is bad.

"Grover, we have to go after her!"

…

"Grover?"

"…Um, Percy, Tyson is waving at us and making goofy faces from behind the window. He's also giving Clarisse a piggyback-ride to cabin five."

"What?"

"Crud. Clarisse is showing the tape to her friends, and they've all started doing Percy Jackson impressions. From the looks of things, this tape is going to circulate around camp in about two hours, and after that, we shall have no salvation."

As if that wasn't soul crushing enough, Grover has more to tell. Someone up there hates me, and it's not just Ares, Kronos, Luke, and pretty much everyone I've ever uttered a syllable to.

"And now…Tyson is coming back, wearing a huge cheesy smile on his face, and he's…giving thumbs up?"

"BROTHER!" The Cyclops shouts happily, bursting through the wall, leaving rubble everywhere.

"Holy crap!"

"Brother, I helped Clarissy deliver the tape, and now everyone will know how amazing you are at singing!"

Grover and I let our mouths drop like an anvil out of a window.

"…Um, Tyson, that wasn't a good idea. We were crap, and we were singing to the wrong person, and it's probably going to end up as an Internet phenomenon by the time one of the Stoll brothers slaps it on Youtube."

"I thought you were great!" Tyson continues in blissful ignorance.

Ye gods.

"I wanna join your baaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaand!" he squeals, and then gives me a monster Cyclops hug.

"Fine! But we have to sing the theme tune!" I announce boldly, getting over my fear of the situation.

"Theme tune?" Grover asks. "We never had a – oh yeah!"

Trio, in activation!

Poses, in position,

Melodrama, in usage!

"Teenage Mutant Ninja Half-Bloods,

Teenage Mutant Ninja HALF-BLOODS,

TEENAGE MUTANT NINJA HALF-BLOODS,

Dudes in a summer camp,

HERO POWER!"

**And so, with the addition of one naïve Cyclops, our heroes take on the quest of avoiding humiliation and singing their little souls out. Will they stop Clarisse laying a land mine under their pride? Will the Stoll brothers make another attempt to cash in on Percy's misery? Will Annabeth FINALLY take Percy back? Will the author of this story ever find something more useful with her life other than making poor Percy endure her fics? (NOT A CHANCE IN HELL!) Find out in the next instalment of this absolute random crap!**

AN: Sorry, no crossovers this time. --; But if you have any suggestions for crossovers, then feel free to post them, but I'll only use them if I have, of course, read or seen the thing before. In this fic, as you probably know by now, anything goes.


End file.
